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Monday, December 05, 2005
you okay honey?i'm afraid so
(from Rent: "You Okay Honey?")
Thank you to Lesley for asking if I wanted to meet. For being there supportively and unjudgingly. To Shaun for finally letting me know he was out there and that we're still friends. To Len for his overseas SMS asking after me. To Eugene for checking in with me before he left. I started crying almost as soon as I said hi. The pressure's been building up and I just couldn't keep it in anymore. But all I needed was assurance that somewhere, someone was there for me. Perhaps I don't know how to be alone after all.
sometimes i wish no one reads my blog. then i could just complain about how crappy i feel. without the fear of being labeled a drama queen. or scaring people with my masochistic thoughts. i wouldn't have to care about hurting other people's feelings either. or make them feel uncomfortable with how needy i am for them. i have pain that i dare not give voice to, because i fear that no one will answer. for when i'm faced with this silent void, what will I do then?
1 Comments:
alive but evolved into a manimal
