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darkchoc
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Ignorance is bliss
Boss asked if I was lonely and without really thinking about it, I replied no. "Well, I am," he countered.
Now that I've had some time to dwell on this topic and I realise that I am lonely.
I'm accustomed to solitary pursuits and being away from people doesn't really bug me. Moreover, I'm the sort who prefers to work quietly. SW (the girl I share an office with) and I used to work in companionable silence, once in a while making the occasional comment. But she now hates my guts (I don't know why) and the atmosphere in the office is tense. Do I need to say that the silence is deafening? What makes it worse is that she often walks out to the common area, where the others' workstations are, and laughs and makes jokes with the rest of the staff. I can't follow what's going on out there (because of physical distance and language barrier) and I'm beginning to feel left out.
Boss' brilliant idea of staggering lunch hours also means that I lack opportunities for social interaction. I have to stay in the office to receive calls and visitors while everyone else goes out for lunch. There's no question of asking a few people to stay back with me, because everyone (including SW) is hungry by 12noon. Those rare few who remain in the office from 12noon to 1pm do so because they are rushing projects, so they don't have time to socialise with me either.
It demoralises me to know that SW is getting chummier with everyone else, while I'm becoming an outsider. I wonder whether they hate me? I bet my friendliness with boss bugs them too. But I can't help that. Afterall, he's the only one left for me to talk to.
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